Being a pantster is excruciating….

…And it will be the death of me! ARGH. Yes, I am a pantster, but I hope it doesn’t show in whatever I write (nah, it probably does. I just know it does. I can merely pray people won’t find it too obvious).

Plot? Background story? Ahem. I haz zeh ideas.

In my head.

Yup. I don’t write any detailed character sheets, don’t outline the story’s plot (shhhhhhhhh), and don’t even frickin’ make a timeline (which I have come to DEEPLY regret). And despite all that lack of organization, I am also a bit anal about research and consistency. Does that make sense? No? I thought not.

Why am I writing this Chinese historical fantasy that requires so much frickin’ research?! And worse, those mythos are ALL OVER THE PLACE. I want to grab those ancient dudes by the shoulders and shake them, asking them why the inconsistency? WHY? They’re just making shit up with every new version and interpretation, it’s so obvious they’re making shit up but they’re scholars from 500~1000+ years ago so whatever they say can be considered canon. Coupled with a bunch of nationalistic attempts to make the mythology history, it’s just torturous. So…inconsistencies pile on top of each other, with mythology and history mixing together, and mythical history ends up as a big, hot mess… I want to cry.

Nah. It just has to do with my own indecisive nature. I didn’t think the whole background/mythology through (I only rolled with the vague ideas swimming in my feeble mind). It all started when I tried to write the approximate age of a side character while typing up book 2…and I ended up thinking: dang, I need a timeline to calculate this character’s age, and also the approximate time she asked a certain question.

A timeline spanning 4000 years at the least, just because I suddenly decided I should do the entire thing, down to all the events that supposedly happened in the past.

I shoulda done it earlier. Who the hell writes epic-ish fantasy without a timeline of events?

*Cough* That would be moi. Up until now.

Anyhow. After deciding to finally do the dreaded timeline, I tried to calculate the history and jot down a series of prehistory events, tried to find if there were any particular happenings of note I could utilize, and then, and then….

Well, I ended up ditching a version of the mythology I included in the glossary/notes in book 1 =_,= WHY oh WHY did I choose to torture myself with this historical fantasy?! It would’ve been SOOOO much easier to do the timeline if I just needed to make everything up from the top of my head, instead of looking at the mythical history and scratching my head and thinking, wait-a-minute…but I want this to happen at this time, it doesn’t match up with the event I intend to use!

And so forth. I finally decided to ditch the whole prehistory “history”. Mythological all the way, screw the historical timeline! Those calculated approximate timelines weren’t even made up by Chinese people anyway, the Jesuits wanted to link the timeline to the bible. And somehow the Chinese scholars of that time accepted it, so it’s now seen as canon among some particularly nationalistic Chinese?! To hell with those, I’ve decided to do this thang my way.

Thankfully I did leave most things vague and to be explained in book 1 as all book 1s are prone to be like, so the confirmed timeline didn’t affect the story details…I think. The only thing I had to change was the glossary/notes for book 1, and even more luckily, it ain’t published yet, so I can saves the errors of my idiocy. *Wipes sweat*. Yes, I wrote book 1 without a timeline, so sue me! I know I probably shouldn’t tell potential readers about how disorganized I am with the writing process, but I am. I don’t plot. I don’t!!!

…Ok, that isn’t entirely true. After I got into zis serious writer’s block when writing the first 11 or so chapters of book 2, I began to plan ahead a little, mostly the outlines of an arc. (Of course, I don’t always stick to the plan, because they always change or I’m always changing my mind. I am such a wishy-washy author, I know.) Still, I don’t have any long-term solution in my mind.

As for when the book will be published? I don’t know. It was supposedly slated for July/August this year, but then things happened, and yeah…. Publication date is probably bumped down to December this year. Or January 2015? Or even later….? ~”~ Very nervous about the release nonetheless. I shall hide under rocks when it does to avoid any eggs thrown at me. Or avoid seeing how desolate the readership is. *Sits in a dark corner and pokes mushroom with a stick*

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